I’ve been seated at my desk for the past hour and a half waiting for my most annoying two hours of the day but Mr. B seems to be running late. I hear him approaching I quickly switch windows from my Facebook page to the latest proposal I am working on.
Good morning, I say from my desk, acting all chirpy. He replies and begins settling down opening laptops and things.
I wait.
No call to come round for the meeting. I’m still waiting but it's 45 minutes gone since he stepped in. I’m practically hyper-ventilating in excitement at the thought of no meeting today.
Lunchtime and still no word! Wow! He probably got tired of answering his owns questions or watching me glaze over while he unraveled his plans for the future. I’m sincerely hoping they work out for him because I’m seriously looking forward to my lunch.
Now don’t be too hasty to imagine me the worst employee in history. The most challenging exercise you could put me through on a Monday morning would be to open my eyes. It’s neither the thought of going back to my mind-numbing job after an equally tedious weekend nor the hassle of avoiding oncoming pedestrian traffic and screaming conductors. I’ve often wondered why everyone else seems to walk in a direction opposite to mine and I end up nearly losing my shoulders to Lagosians.
This is not your usual Monday Morning Meeting held in the boss’ office with the rest of the staff or the type held in a boardroom where you get to act like you’re not noticing the cute guy from IT across the conference table.
No!
Because the only person I get to not avoid watching at this meeting is… my Boss. Yes. Monday Morning meeting attendance is just me, and my boss.
Before you start shaking your head in wonderment let me enlighten you slightly. I had known Mr. B long before I came to work for him. When I was putting together an event for an NGO I worked for during one of the numerous ASUU/NASU/SSANU strikes, I met with a number of sponsors. He was very helpful then, and at the end of the meeting he gave me his card and asked me to keep in touch. I didn’t. But he did so I came to work for him right after school.
You can imagine my surprise on resuming work only to find I’m practically unlocking the office doors because there’s no one there. I thought there would be other people but he reassured me that they would join us at the end of the month.
Well… it’s been FOUR!
Monday Morning Meeting started two months back and I begin to imagine even Mr B has begun to see the ludicrousness of the whole thing. We have no accounts per se, we’re basically pitching left, right and centre. It appears as though other agencies are three steps ahead of us because just as we get to the prospective client, we learn that they’ve just bought the idea of the last company but would consider us gladly next year. The world of marketing communications in this country I have come to know is a boulevard of man-know-man.
Your idea could be as popular as sand or as refreshing as bottled water, if you have no insider, your proposal is as good as dead. And my boss the ex-engineer is not exactly a people person.
Ok, maybe we needed to review our progress but did we really have to “meet”? We shared an office for crying out loud. So meeting would involve me dragging my seat over to his desk and sitting poised with my pen and paper, ready to take notes. Oh you didn’t think I actually said anything did you?
I read the minutes of the last meeting, he asks where we are on so and so and I pretty much answer that I am awaiting so and so response from blah-blah about this and that and what not- Which is not always a lie!
Or I reply that the job is at Mr. Iyke’s, our unofficial creative person, by the way. You see, I pass on frameworks of the proposals I’m working on so he can mix in some colour and graphics for presentation to clients. That is pretty much how we get our work done. Mr. Iyke still has his regular job and he is not about to quit so we depend on his schedule a lot to deliver our presentations.
Did I say “our”, I meant MY presentations. I go alone on all these marketing runs. All this is apart from the magazine subscriptions I have to sell also!
I forgot to mention. Some South African magazine wants to break into Nigeria but they intend to sell only subscriptions. Guess what the magazine is all about… Diamonds. It brings to light all the latest discoveries in diamonds, where to buy how to spot the flawed ones. Very informative you’d say. But would you like to subscribe for a year? I didn’t think so.
I’m shutting down now, ready to skip off to lunch and he summons me with his index finger. Index finger!
What?! A new prospect, come up with an innovative idea that could turn around the market share and generate… Sigh. I can't possibly hate my life more than I do already can I?
